Over the last five years I’ve been involved with tutoring high school students to help them become the first generation in their family to go to college. I try to emphasize that they should study something that they like. Maybe doing something they enjoy will be a great way to have a career. This is not strong enough. I believe that some of the problems in our world stem from people doing something that they don’t truly enjoy. And the best thing is to be passionate about what you’re doing in life.
Do you wake up in the morning excited about your day? I recognize that this may not happen every single day, but if you are doing something that you find fulfilling then this should be happening to you on a regular basis. Getting up excited, that is. I remember knowing an attorney that figured out that he had become an attorney to please his mother. He was around fifty and finally woke up to this fact. He had a big problem in that he was divorced and had to pay child support and his life cost a lot monetarily. He felt that he was stuck because he couldn’t do anything else that would make him the money to support the former wife and daughter. (The daughter wasn’t former.) He loved his daughter and continued being an attorney. I know he loves his daughter very much to this day. As far as I know he still very much does not love being an attorney. Come to think of it, maybe I should check in with him and see if he has solved his problem.
My life isn’t perfect, but their are large parts of it that I really enjoy and I enjoy the direction in which I’m headed. I don’t have as nice a house as people that I go to church with and that’s ok. More and more I enjoy the life I’m living and I don’t mean that in a hedonistic sense. I like that I’ve integrated volunteer work over the years. I wish that we all would. Especially with an ongoing non-profit organization. That’s where you can build some relationships. Even if you build one good one, that’s a great perk.
But figuring out what you’re passionate about is not easy for everyone to do. I recommend doing a personal development seminar. I’ve found them to be very valuable. You gain insight into yourself that might have taken years otherwise. You can do it in weeks or even a weekend. Just don’t get into anything cultish. I wouldn’t go near anything to do with scientology. Just my opinion that is shared by a lot of people.
If you’re concerned about doing seminar work you probably do have some learning to do about yourself. If you’re not ready to see that then there are books. You could get a coach and I know a great one in Fran Cannon and another in Dori Klass. I might even coach you if you said the magic words.
Recently I’ve noticed that many people are more comfortable reading a book. That allows you to do something in privacy and you don’t have to expose yourself and your “stuff” to other people. In the long run you are definitely going to benefit by having someone you can share your “stuff” with and the sooner you get to that point the quicker you will make bigger strides in getting to where you would rather be in life. Many people would say that it’s where you’re meant to be. Why you’re here.
Some people won’t even allow themselves to consider a question like this. Not that they haven’t ever thought about it. Most have. But it can be real work to figure it out and that can mean some deeply emotional “stuff” that you need to go through.
What ARE you passionate about? OR, what do you feel called to do? What really lights you up when you’re doing it?
Of course, we are talking about positive stuff here. Not “stuff”. If someone has an addiction to something they can mistake that for being passionate about it. Also, it’s something that I would call “deep”. It resonates within you. You feel so good about doing it when you’re doing it.
When I’m working with Reality Changers I feel great about it most of the time. Sometimes when I come home I have a hard time sleeping because I am thinking about other things we can do there to help the students.
All of a sudden I’m feeling the tiredness again. I got to bed late last night after doing something I enjoy. I don’t know that I’m passionate about it, but I do enjoy it when I keep it in perspective. For years I was very involved and I feel that God is showing me other things that I can spend more time doing.
What was I doing last night? I was playing in a poker tournament. It was fun and I have a level of skill and experience that makes it a realistic possibility that I might win a tournament with nearly 500 players. As it was I came in 22nd or so. I had fun. My wife reminded me that it was happening and I got there early to make sure that I got a seat.
Years ago I was doing that sort of thing all the time. And since you’ve never heard of me you can probably tell that I’m not a world champion. So it was time to have that be a smaller part of my life. Do I still have hopes for winning a really, really big tournament someday? Yes. But not at the expense of other things in my life.
Soon I’ll be a published author and speaker. That is a way for me to reach more people to help them do what they’re passionate about.
That is, in fact, what I am passionate about.
I am passionate about helping other people do what they’re passionate about.
That’s also one reason why I feel I can speak to this subject.
Another is all the personal development work that I’ve participated in.
I’ve been to Fran Cannon’s seminars. I’ve been to what used to be called IBI and is now called CEO Space. I’ve studied Nonviolent Communication with a group for over a year. And I’ve been to Avatar and in case you look it up – No, it is not a cult. I’m a christian. I’m also a presbyterian and we’re too boring to be in a cult. LOL
If you would like to talk to me about being able to do what you’re passionate about, I’m here. Just know that I don’t like conversations that take 20 emails back and forth. I still use a phone and I can use Skype.
You don’t have to talk to me, but if you want to do what you’re passionate about or figure out what it is…Talk to somebody!
I’m adding a new category on this blog today – Networking!
I’ve been networking regularly or semi-regularly for 15 years. I really learned how to be more effective networking in December, 2000. If you are not “into” networking please keep in mind that that is a choice. I believe not networking is a pretty bad choice. There are exceptions. Joe Eszterhas, who has written very successful screenplays, says that you need to focus on your craft or some similar word. But he is very successful already. He has an agent who I’m sure is networking on his behalf.
People who are incredibly successful at this point when you do not have the same level of success may have different habits. Did NOT networking get Joe Ezsterhas where he is? He is definitely talented and bold, but there must have been a time when he had to network more than he does now. Again, at the very least, he must have had an agent networking for him.
Your habits may need to be different than his habits at this point in your life. At least ONE of them. Does this make sense?
Warren Buffett says, “Put all your eggs in one basket and then WATCH that basket!” That’s great if you’re already incredibly wealthy. Are you incredibly wealthy? I would like to suggest that just like with Joe Eszterhas, Warren Buffett is at a different place in his life than you or I are right now. Right now I’ll bet a better strategy would be for you to diversify if you are making investments.
But this is not about investments. It’s about networking. You need to meet people face-to-face or at least over the phone or Skype.
Email-only relationships that are very productive in moving your career or job or aspirations forward are rare. Steven King did a musical collaboration with someone whose name I should remember and don’t right now. They collaborated through email and sent files back and forth.
While I don’t know everything about everybody, this is the ONLY case of a truly PRODUCTIVE email-only relationship of which I have ever heard.
I know the name of the musician will come to me. Perhaps not before I finish this post…
You need to care about other’s success in order to network most effectively. Really.
Is it all about you when you meet someone?
You might not like to hear this, but there is really something to: What’s In It For Me?
So, when you meet someone you want to be interested in what their goals are.
Actually, if they have learned to network effectively, you can be interested in one thing to be of help to them.
What’s that one thing? What cuts to the chase?
Here’s the question:
What do you need next?
What do you need next most?
When you can answer that for someone else, you can find out quickly whether or not they know someone who can be of help to you.
OF COURSE, you want to be able to ask that question of them.
It’s not all about making people do for you.
I’ve seen some people online say, “If there’s ever anything I can help you with, please let me know.”
That’s great. If it’s really true. And I hope those you “meet” or meet are completely sincere when they say that.
BUT, what some of them actually mean is…
You see my profile. You see what I do. If you would like me to help you through the services that I provide, please contact me.
I will be happy to help you within that context and only within that context.
Many (not all) of these people are not offering to network with you and for you.
How do I network?
If you let me know “What you need next,” I keep you in mind when I see other people so I can say, “Bill, you know, I think you ought to meet Anya because she’s doing something that you might be able to help with.” See the difference?
AND, before I do that, when you’ve told me what you need next most, I will have thought of who I know so that AT THAT MOMENT I can connect you with someone if I do.
If I don’t have the contact information right there, I will get back to you with it, BUT, I prefer to introduce you in a three-way call.
THAT, my friends, is networking.
It’s not all there is too it, but it’s a GREAT start.
If I simply hand you someone’s contact information and let you call them or take yours and give it to the other person, it’s not really a warm introduction.
When I introduce you face-to-face or over the phone, we can all have a conversation or I can leave the conversation to the two of you after a little bit.
When you network in this way, wise people will want to network with you.
Think of being in a room of people where everyone is coming up to you saying (SINCERELY) “How can I help you? Who do you need to meet?”
If you can’t get done what you want to get done with a bunch of people like that, then you need clarity about what your next step is or where you are going.
I know people that can help with that, too. I might be one of them!
It’s important to give credit where credit is due. I learned about more effective networking through people like Janet Honek, Fran Cannon, Robert Johnson and people at what is now called CEO Space. But you can do that type of networking anywhere.
Zig Ziglar said:
If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.
If you can dream it, then you can achieve it. You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.
Come network with me! (NO LURKERS!!) 🙂
Or Simply Contact Me!